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some damn alone time

I’m in the Bay Area alone for a week and I actually felt a little bad/weird about taking so much space for me time. And then I caught myself.

I had scheduled a sacred ceremony on Monday with a priestess (more on that another time!) and then nada for the rest of the week, aside from my usual schedule with clients and behind-the-scenes work on my biz. I have to be in LA Sunday so I decided to stay instead of extra trips from LA to the desert. Tryna keep that carbon footprint low, you know?

Well, and, reeeeeally…I wanted some damn alone time.

The holidays were chock full of family/friend adventures and tangles (including a double-team pleading for me to have a baby…whew!). Also, I live and work with my husband — who is an utter gem of a human in all ways. Truly. I totally won big in the partner department.

Still.

I need alone time for my mental/spiritual/emotional health. I gotta have it or I lose my grounding. I get all buzzy and caught up and swirling in the things to do, go, hurry, now.

SPAAAAAACE. Gimme gimme gimme.

Alone time is when I get to do whatever the hell I want and not run it by a single soul. I don’t have to factor in anyone else’s time, desires, preferences, schedules. I get to just DO ME.*

But as I booked my flight and stared at the whole week in my calendar, I felt the “do I really need this much time?” and other slightly stingy feelings of undeserved-ness.

I ain’t immune to the culture of shame and sacrificial over-giving we live in, I just know how to catch myself pretty quickly and say “OH EGO, I SEE YOU TRYNA WORK ME. SF HERE I COME!”**

I don’t have children (much to some family member’s dismay), so I get how alone time may be easier for me than others. I see my baby-less privilege.

But kids aren’t always the reason we don’t make room for ourselves. It’s part of our programming to be sacrificial!

I’m a big believer that everyone can (er, I strongly recommend) take alone time each week. It’s about quality, not quantity honey, so don’t worry about it being some enormous chunk of time that has you panicking from the get-go. Start with 30 minutes.

  • You deserve 30 minutes.
  • Yes, you.
  • Open your calendar.
  • Right now.
  • Yes, right now.
  • Find 30 minutes in the next 3 days.
  • Block it off.***
  • See if that time works again next week. If not, find another time. Do it for the next 3 weeks.
  • Notice what feelings come up for you as you do this. Just wave at them, “I see you guilt. I see you shame. I see you pressure. I see you (fill in the blank with intense emotional responses to acknowledging your own importance and needs),” and let them pass. They will if you don’t grab them and beat yourself with them.

I know how alone time serves me. So I make it a priority. And when I make it a priority and plan it, I have it. Tuesday night was a New Moon in Capricorn…basically, “it’s time to plan and map out your desires,” as my gorgeous business partner and intuitive astrologist extraordinaire, Sandy, puts it.

To help you give your alone time a little shape, or make it a little more goal-oriented (working with the New Moon energies) I made a BEST OF guided meditation list for you. My favorites from 2017 all in one place. Sign up here and work them into your next alone time.

And don’t miss me and Sandy’s free Astro-Coaching series! You can catch up on the last 3 and catch the next 2 here.

* I’m also an only child so I had a lot of alone time growing up and it’s really nourishing for me. Just me and my imagination, bffs para toda la vida.

** I even forgot my wallet back in the desert, so when I got to the airport I had to think quick, breathe deep, stay calm and try not to cry at the TSA. I did all of those things and got on my flight! Committed to me!

*** If you don’t think so or can’t seem to find the 30 minutes, I want you to consider that not being able to find time could be the same root as not believing you deserve it…just simmer there if you need to. 

 

Pic by @stayandvibe