I did a few super fun podcasts this week (one is up here) where I talked about falling on your face and getting up with a little more grace and ease as the result of doing deep inner work. You’ll never stop falling, but how hard you hit the ground and how elegantly you get back up is totally up to you.
AND THEN I REALLY FELL. ON MY FACE. AND HURT MY ARM. AND MY FOOT. AND MY HEART A LITTLE TOO.
On Thursday, the last day of Mercury Retrograde, my partner was in LA for two nights and I was feeling FREE and LIIIIIGHHHHT. So good. I made a flower crown in my yard and went on a morning hike through the wildflowers.
I came back home, popped my leftover veggie curry in the oven and went to do a quick thing in my office that became a not-so-quick-thing. All of a sudden I smelled burning. I was on a call with customer service on my computer, so picked it up, ran towards the kitchen, catching my toe on my stupid flowy pants and falling onto my fireplace and hitting the ground. Hard.
I cut my arm, smacked my computer, my foot felt weird, my shoulder and hip ached. I got up and stumbled into the kitchen and extinguished my flaming curry.
I tried to shake it off. But I felt weird. I was alone. I called my husband to cry because I wanted someone to witness my pain. He didn’t answer so I just cried by myself.
Tbh, I spiraled a bit.
I felt so sad, like all the brightness I’d been feeling had just been ripped away. It was intense. And then I was angry. I shook some bigger emotions loose when I fell flat on my face.
The challenge… what to do when shit does not go how you want it to??
Pain and pleasure are ALWAYS there. It’s who you be in the face of them that matters. Not how you get less of one and more of another. Feel me??
So I just felt the feelings. To resist them wouldn’t have served me. I didn’t even really understand them completely and that was ok.
I was a little snotty and teary and down, but that was my version of a graceful rising. To push it down or beat myself up about going too fast would’ve been an older, less attentive Dana.
What challenges are up for you right now? And how are you rising?
Art by Annelie Vandendael, “Sois Belle 2.8”