Sadgirls

if the feels feel like too much, read this

There are definitely times I feel lost. Lost in my own feelings. Lost in the dark of what’s happening in the world around me. Deeply saddened that there are so many people who feel powerless, empty and disconnected. Do you get that way too?

Me? Sometimes I’ll totally resist the feelings. I’ll try to find things to DO so I don’t have to feel (though as conscious as I am, I’m not always clear in the moment that this is what I’m doing).

I’ll snack. Let there always be dark chocolate on hand.
Or I’ll go way too long without eating. Thank goddess for my husband who cooks.
Or I’ll go really deep into some theory about parallel/alternate universes.*
Or I’ll decide I need more supplements and get lost online shopping. Sun Potion e’rythang.
Or I’ll get really busy doing something unimportant in my business…

GAHH I’M TOO BUSY TO FEEL MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I HAVE TO MAKE THE FONT ON THIS WEBPAGE PERFECT.

My perfectionism is a form of distraction if that wasn’t obvious. It’s a way for me to disengage and dissociate from my feelings. It’s old for me.

As a hypersensitive person (HSP to those of you who don’t know), I had to learn to shut things down and out. Otherwise, I would’ve felt too much. Sound familiar?

And because no one really teaches us how to be with our emotions in healthy ways — yes, our parents/family/teachers/community, but sometimes they don’t know either! — I had to create some distance for what I psychically surmised as my own protection.

Over time, I realized that this wasn’t supporting my evolution.

If I couldn’t feel, I couldn’t be authentic.

If I couldn’t express my feelings, I couldn’t connect.

If I couldn’t feel my feelings and not judge myself for them, I couldn’t grow from my experiences.

If I couldn’t be authentic, connect, or grow, I was powerless.

As Caroline Myss says, “When we feel powerless, we make powerless choices. When we feel empowered, we are in a position to make empowered choices.”

I (just like you, I’m sure) could easily go to a place of powerlessness. But I make a moment-by-moment decision not to.

How?

I let my feelings come up. I see them. I observe them. My feelings are not my enemy. Indifference and cynicism are.

  • If I feel sad I put on sad music to enhance the flow.
  • If I’m angry, I dance around and rage and scream. Sometimes I flail around on my bed, punching pillows and doing what my husband calls “the berzerker.”
  • If I’m a whole bundle o’ feels, I’ll put my feet in the dirt. I’ll wail. I’ll laugh. I’ll ground. I’ll hang with my crystal friends. I’ll lay down with my cat. I’ll hang upside down in my yoga swing (it helps). I’ll journal.

The point is to let your feelings flow. Don’t stuff them down. Don’t ignore them. Don’t judge yourself for them (extra important).

EXTRA EXTRA IMPORTANT >> But also, don’t stew in them. Don’t sit and simmer like a chicken in a crockpot. That’ll take you down. Let them flow.

  • When you’re in an emotion, notice how it feels in your body.
  • Notice your internal dialogue…see if you’re projecting it on anyone else.
  • See if you can take responsibility for it. It’s yours. Own it. No one MAKES you feel anything. You are the only one that can make you feel. Try that on.
  • Gently notice the beliefs beneath the feelings. Is there something you’re making your feelings mean?
  • What’s the story you’re telling yourself about yourself?

Work with these. There’s a lot of feelings of frustration, hopelessness, anger, pain, desperation, sadness, overwhelment, doubt, disappointment that we must move.

Let me know how this goes for you. Drop a comment, I’d love to hear.

PS I was going to share this invitation today, but something else was coming through. However, I still feel like this free #energychallenge is a way to combat the confusion and apathy and help you connect with why you’re here on the planet rn.

 

* I’m not even kidding here. Watch and go down the rabbithole with this 11 yr old genius star child. Wut.