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getting it right on the inside

If you want to rise up, you’ve got to lighten your load.
Don’t let the comfort and familiarity block you from your blessings.
The biggest hurdle when it comes to letting go, is trusting that there is something greater to come.
You have to trust that the void will be filled…with something even better.
Remember, letting go of what no longer serves you is the prerequisite of making way for the things that will.

– Rha Goddess (my beloved mentor & teacher)

Last week I went dark. No #metoo email.* No launch of my group program. Nada. Niet. Nerp. But holy shit did I see the liiiight!

My inner guide was telling me to hold up. And even though I had Plans (capital P), so much of my work is to help you connect with your inner knowing — who would I be if I ignored my own?

Sooo I hung an “out for spiritual maintenance” sign on my heart and went in.

You see, in the beautiful business I create for myself, there are plans, schedules, structures, program breakdowns, spreadsheets, platforms for everything + endless deeply connective exchanges about how to best support people realizing their visions & deepest desires.

As I got the wildly clear signs to slow down (thus realizing I’d been getting them for nearly 2 months) I felt frustrated, impatient, confused, a little scared and a bit self-judgey, tbh.

I had to rumble with my story. The story I was telling myself was: that I was supposed to go to this next level, quickly. I had to move, move, move ahead. That only by getting all the puzzle pieces together/ducks in a row would I get what I wanted.

I was unconsciously shoulding all over myself. And thus blocking the flow.

How’d the signs to slow down and release my attachment to what I think I should be doing, come? Via:

  • every stinking horoscope I read, anywhere
  • oracle card readings by me and others for me
  • tarot card readings
  • random things people were sending me that all had the same message
  • conversations with loved ones
  • old notes I’d written to myself that I’d find in books and drawers
  • a 4-month long UTI
  • a setback in my body healing because I rushed ahead to DO and FIX
  • feelings in my heart and gut and pelvis
  • my husband telling me (very lovingly and consistently) that I was moving too fast and needed to slow down (me: “BABY, I’M FINE! I JUST TOOK A DAY OFF HALF-DAY OFF! FEELING GREAT!”)

I was so fixated on my agenda that I was missing the cues. Or, rather, I was so intent on what was next according to my agenda that I wasn’t making room for the cues or the clarity of my own inner guidance or reflections from my support system.

Resonating?

My next level wasn’t about what program I could run.

My next level was a deeper, stretchier understanding around my work/offering/sacred calling coming from the deepest knowing and truth inside of me. It’s about me being a conduit for spirit. An embodiment of my soul.

If it’s anything else, it ain’t gonna work. Not for me. Not for you.

ASK YOURSELF >>

  • Do you push yourself to DO things that you know, on some level, are not the right fit?
  • You want them to be the right fit, and maybe they could be if you gave yourself permission to let go and let goddess — have you let go? Why not?
  • What do you believe will happen if you do let go? Surrender? Release your attachment to how you think it should be? If you stopped efforting and trying and pushing so hard?
  • Where does that belief come from? Go back into time…early childhood, love. Where did you lose your trust and start being so self-sufficient? So controlling of the experience? Where were you not met in your needs? Can you love up on your wounded little one?
  • Know that you can meet yourself. Starting now. And that the universe will always rise to meet you. If you’re not being met, you’re not really rising. You’re holding your goals too tightly. Can you be tender with yourself in seeing that?
  • How do you really want things to be? What really lights you up, turns you on, gets your blood pumping? Lean into more of that. Even if you don’t understand how it relates to the thing you think you need to have/do…

I have a choice. You have a choice. Always. Especially if you think you don’t. That’s where there’s room for the biggest transformations.

Surrender.
Trust.
Accept.
Forgive.
Make room.
Trust.
Vision.
Light up.
Leap.
Trust.
Rise.

It’s all available to you.