Have you ever felt confused, like you didn’t know how to move forward? You didn’t know what to do, what decision to make…and you were at least partly convinced that you’d make the wrong decision no matter what?
So you didn’t make any decision. You hung in there like that kitten on the motivational poster in your elementary school nurse’s office.
And slowly you noticed that things changed a little bit — there was a slight feeling of the fog lifting, and things were a little less painful.
Someone else had made a decision that effected you and it worked out ok enough.
And then time passed and you were…wait for it…still confused. Still not sure how to move forward. Waiting again for something else to happen.
I mean, I know that feeling well. I’ve had it a million times.
Part of it is because I’m a libra and we’re cosmically challenged with decision-making. The other part is because I’ve been really scared — consciously and unconsciously filled to my psychic brim with fear.
Confusion, my friend, is a safe haven. Even though it’s supremely uncomfortable, you know how to navigate it. You find comfort in the discomfort. Like your hometown, you don’t need to look at a map to get around.
So you stay there in confusion land. Because staying there is less scary than making the big decision that YOU KNOW (deep down) needs to be made.
As a teacher of mine likes to say, “You’re letting fear drive your car.” You scoot over into the passenger seat and you let fear (likely a younger version of yourself or an archetype trying to protect you from pain in some way) take the wheel.
What you can do instead is:
- Put that fear in your tote bag along with your keys, chapstick, hand lotion and mini spritz bottle of facial toner, and keep it moving.* Acknowledge the fear. Stare it down, don’t push it down.
- Take a look at what you’re really afraid of. Be tender, forgiving and honest with yourself. You’re not alone. Everyone else, ever, has been afraid of that too.
- Trust that you can only make the right decision.** Whatever is meant for you is meant for you. You’ll always end up on your path. No matter what.
- Call on your support system. Focus on those who have your highest and best in mind. You get to determine HOW you want to be supported. Be discerning.***
- Notice if you’re assuming that the big decision will be awful, scary, uncomfortable, mysteriously tragic. See if you can turn that around. What else could it be? Liberating? Clarifying? A much-needed exercise of courage? Turn. It. Around.
You can do this. Confusion is not a permanent state of being.
Out in the desert, getting free and taking the wheel,
* Maybe that’s just me. It’s SO DRY in the desert. You can never be too hydrated. But still, the idea. You feel me.
** AKA you can’t make a wrong decision. The whole paradigm of right and wrong can make even more fear. Loosen your grip on it.
*** You can book your free 30 minute consult with me (click book me link in header!) if you want to expand your support team.