What if it all really boils down to one choice? Just one.
You can choose to hold on, manage, grip, CONTROL in order to get somewhere/something you think you need to be whole, complete, and perfect…
you can choose to SURRENDER. Release the oars. Quit paddling upstream. Let go of what you think you need or where you think you should be.
Remember the truth of who you really are.
When you’re controlling, you’re resisting. Resisting a flow of well-being as the teachers Abraham Hicks would say. Resisting connection to your soul, connection to spirit, and your own inner knowing.
What do you think you need?
- A career/bank account/lover/family that look just so? (Whose vision is that really?)
- Trust without a single doubt ever? (What if your doubts are just emotions and you can feel them, process the info, and then let them slip through your fingers like sand instead of latching on and identifying with them?)
- To be so strong, self-sufficient, independent that you don’t need anyone or anything because YOU GOT IT HANDLED? (Are you actually pushing people away? Are you self-fulfilling the belief that you don’t belong so might as well keep yourself separate ’cause it’s safer there?)
- A really specific outcome (that matches the goal you set at another point in your life that may not match up with the person you are today, ahem)?
- Confidence that allows you to run the world? (Look, even Beyoncé gets nervy.)
- Clarity that just falls out of the sky, lands on you, and then you just know everything that needs to be done forever? (Clarity is a thing you cultivate, not trip over.)
- That last thingamajig that will really make you better? (It won’t unless it’s my new electronic toothbrush because it is truly like NASA for the mouth.)
- MF thigh gap? (Thigh gap is not for everyone. It’s ok. Thick thighs save lives.)
1) Take stock of what you think you need. Make a list. Then ask yourself where that desire comes from. Fear of inadequacy? Someone else’s story that was projected on you a long time ago (thank you, parents)? Culturally programmed pseudo-realities? Someone’s shiny instagram feed?*
2) What do you already have? Make a list. Celebrate it. Can you appreciate the beauty that is already all around you? It’s a perfect time of year to reach out to those in your life and share this beauty and appreciation with them.
3) Honor your journey. It’s yours. It’s not the Hero’s Journey you’re culturally fed, where there is such an intense focus on what needs to be ACHIEVED/GOTTEN/GET IT DAMMIT that we sever ties with our inner knowing. The journey is undulating. There are detours (which are signs guiding you!) and mistakes and failures and sitting down and crying and bad advice and divine guidance and strokes of genius and SURRENDERING! It’s your Heroine’s Journey.** It’s perfect.
Let go of what you think you need. Surrender.
Embrace what’s already moving, thriving, flowing. Celebrate.
Remember the truth of who you really are. Simmer.
You owe it yourself.
PS If you didn’t listen to my free audio replay of the *staying balanced & powerful through the holidays* you can here (great if you’re a manage-everyone’s-experience-
*I’m not distrustful of Instagram, I’m just aware that for many it’s a highlight reel. The best of. It can trigger the comparison monster, but know that it’s only half the story (or less). And then go back to step 2 ↑
**You don’t have to be a woman/female-identified to have a Heroine’s Journey. Listen to this fabulous interview with Dr. Catherine Svehla as she describes the Hero’s Journey and why its days might be numbered.