Last time I had a major project I got so pumped that I was on the high-flying disc* I forgot about my earthly self. My sweet body. I was brimming with joy — totally over-stimulated and not eating enough (bless my husband for cooking and making me eat), sleeping like 5 hours a night because I was so excited to wake up and do more, and frankly, just feeling higher than a rainbow kite at the beach. Believe it or not, there’s totally such a thing as too much joy.**
All my energy was going out out OUT into the world! And at the end of it, my body had taken a big hit. I had to recover. This was the first time I’d burnt out doing my own work. It sucked.
I can see now that it lead me toward a great maturing process. I am clear about how I want to live — passion with balance, a deep inner-knowing of my own abundance, presence in all the moments, and holding goals lovingly and lightly so I can evolve along the way.
What I know now is that the journey is the reward.
Self-knowledge is the reward.
Respecting yourself enough to lean in and lean out when necessary is the reward.
Presence in your body as you move through life is the reward.
I’m an effing grown-ass woman! You’re a grown-ass human, too!
- You have power and agency that you didn’t have as a child. Use it.
- Feel the maturing happening. Or invite it in. Now’s the time.
- It’s softer and sweeter than you think.
- Be the boss of you (or you’re gonna find yourself on someone else’s flow real quick).
- Call your energy back to your body (reel all those kites — aka emails, convos, etc — back in).
- Spend quality time with yourself.
- Oh, and know there’s nothing you need to have first in order for you to become the truth of who you really are.
You get taught that you have to HAVE that job/partner/achievement in order DO all the things you think you need to do so you can BE the way you want to be. It’s the other way around. BE > DO > HAVE. Start being what you envision right now. The doing and the having will follow.
I’m more subdued now even though I’m just as ambitious and focused as ever. I’m a Libra, I’ve PRAYED for balance for goddess-sakes and now it’s here. I can ignore it or embrace it.
What are you praying for? Find it in your life right now, because I promise it’s already there, and hold it up. Honor it. (Or ignore it because it doesn’t look exactly how you wanted it to and see how far that gets you.)