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Be Who You Needed When You Were Young

be who you needed when you were young

Love can be expressed in so many ways that sometimes it doesn’t even really seem like love.

Like maybe someone in your life is in a constant state of worry over your health and safety and to you it’s just annoying. But to them it’s love.

And for others, love is red latex panties and some ropeplay.

Love can also be having things done for you (Acts of Service is my #2 Love Language — google the quiz). Major handyman fantasies over here — not even sexual, just straight fantasizing about someone doing my drywall. #adulting

So in the multi-faceted, ever-evolving conversation about LOVE and LOVING, one of my FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE aspects is…can you guess it?…


And one of my FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE ways to experience and express self-love (besides slowing down and setting boundaries — my last few email topics) is through Inner Child work.

Yes, I went from red panties and handyman fantasies to inner child work. Stick with me, kiddo. It’s all connected in the realm of love and honoring yourself. Trust me.

I was introduced to inner child work many years ago, and it’s made a life-changing impact in the way I understand, relate to, and love myself and others.

To me, it feels like time travel. You can go back to times in your early life and connect with your young ones. The ones who got hurt, discouraged, scared, confused…who werejust trying to figure out how to make sense of the world around them (and who made some unconscious decisions that shape you to this day).

You visit them, see them, hear them, forgive them (and your grown-up self), shine some love and light on them. You love up on ’em and shower them with affection and appreciation. Your job is to affirm them.

You get to be who you needed when you were young and do some gentle, simple, and profound healing.

This isn’t necessarily about your parents being wrong or bad — even the best parents can’t have met every need you had as a child.

This is about loving yourself enough to accept that not all parts of you are a grown up. You are the sum of many who are still quite active.

How to tell if you’re inner child needs some love?

  • You have painful things that happened in your childhood.
  • If you were ever a child.
  • Sometimes you find yourself acting like a child (be honest).
  • If you have fears about things. (Intentionally vague, you get what I’m gettin’ at, right?)

If any of those wrung your bell, I want you to make some room in your calendar in the next few days to do this inner child guided exercise.

Remember, this isn’t about anything being wrong with you or your parents being wrong. This is about self-love and being willing to love the parts of yourself you may not always realize are RIGHT THERE DEMANDING ATTENTION.

Give them the attention they desire. Do the exercise. Love yourself better and everyone else will too.

Oh AND join me and NYC-based astrologer, Sandy Sitron, on 2/13 for our 4th class in the astro-coaching series! We’ll be going in on Uranus (unintentional dirty astro punning) and how to embrace change.