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But Is Your Husband Going With You?

but is your husband going with you?

“No, he’s not invited.”

That’s the question people kept asking me when I told them I was going to Hawai’i to launch my group course, start birthing a book into the world, and in general just be in a tropical paradise.

I wanted to be by myself. To have a new experience. To stretch out of the comfort zone of partnership and into a (temporary) world of solo adventure.

Plus, I’m fucking rad and I love my own company.

The idea came about after my last launch when Ryan and I were having it out over him not feeling like I was giving him enough attention (a common theme that he never sees at first, though he’s getting better). I’m a Libra, I’m a real romantic tend-er to my loved ones. When I go into my own world it can be pretty jarring.

So during this hash-out, I said, “Next time I’m going to an island to do my launch and then everyone will be happier.” A few months later my dear friend asked if I wanted to house sit her retreat center for a few weeks.

Thank you, universe.

Leaving for three weeks was a leap out of my comfort zone. Doing a launch in a new place and without someone making sure I ate every day was a real risk. There were challenges. Ones that I truly could not have foreseen and yet, it was perfect. It was such a rich time for me.

I found a new comfort zone in this leap and I can feel the expansion. New ideas are making their way into my sphere. New energy moving through me. New challenges that I’m determined to make into opportunities.

I was nervous to do it. People kept asking “you’re going all alone?” and it seemed so obvious to me because I love being by myself.

It wasn’t always this way. 

Being alone used to feel…well…lonely.

I had a lot of unpacking and healing to do around that story/pattern in order to be alone and not feel like I was lacking. Now instead, I feel so full and rich in my solo time.

In fact, I think alone time is essential to see and hear yourself. To cultivating the courage to stretch out of the comfort zone and into terra incognita…unknown territory! The great mystery! The place where growth happens!

While alone time is now my comfort zone, a solo trip and program launch (always such a wild growth time for me!) for three weeks was stretchy. But hey, now it’s a new normal. A thing I know how to do. And do it damn well, I might add.*

We stretch out of our comfort zones and then that unknown territory becomes more normal. Little by little (or all of a sudden), we feel more confident in these new spaces and we expand. Just like that.

>> Some folks were asking me after the launch if I do 1-on-1 sessions. I do! You can check out the details right here.

* discovered that eating a poké bowl while sitting in the ocean is one of my new favorite things. and paddle-boarding. and discovering hidden coves and listening to the sound of the water moving through the rocks when I put my ears all the way underwater (that’s an oldie but goodie).

image // Ichijo Narumi, Female Nude Seated in Water, 1906