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Why Can’t I Do The Thing I Want To Do?

why can’t i do the thing i want to do?

It’s about damn time. For me that is.

Months back I reached out to my beloved former and current clients asking them for their big burning questions. And I got some REALLY juicy questions.

And then I just sat on them. Not my most effective approach.*

For awhile I’d go into the file and pour over the questions and answer them in my mind, my journal, little notes in my office, everywhere. Everywhere, that is except for anywhere anyone would actually see my answer.

Before I’d reached out for submissions to my Non-Advice Column (working title), I really thought about why I wanted to do it. I took the plunge.

And then. And then…

Who the hell was I to answer their big questions? Maybe my answers would lead people to do crazy things and screw up their lives?! OHMYGOD what if I was already doing that everyday with my clients???? Halp.

My brain really went there. Soooo I conveniently filed the Q&A column under “things to do when I have more time.”

Then the other day, I realized one of the questions I’d been brewing in my cauldron was “How come I know what I want to do but I just can’t do it?”

Well how ’bout that reflection, eh? I was doing the same thing.**

Here’s my answer to the original non-advice column question which became my question. So, uh, basically, I’m like a method actor, but a coach.

My A to their Q is a three-parter. I’ll go deeper in upcoming newsletters and my blog (which is goin’ up very soon, wheeeee!).

  • Fear. Duh. When we grow and dare to do things differently than we have, our psyche will rebel out of protection. We might be doing something that an inner archetype/inner child has deemed too risky given past experiences and perceptions. So we get all the inside voices telling us to put on the brakes.
    • So what to do about fear? There might be some deep work to do here, honey. Deeper than this newsletter is gonna get.*** But what I can tell you is that the fear is an opportunity to see what’s been keeping you stuck in the same old patterns.When the fear comes up see if you can slow your mind down. Instead of riding the rapids of the fear, zoom out and observe it. Notice it and say, “Oh yeah, I see you. I know you.” By bringing consciousness to it, you will shift your energy and attention from your ego to your inner guide and get PRESENT. Super helpful.

      Then dig a little deeper. See if you can trace the fear you’re feeling now to something from when you were young. I promise there’s a root. Find it. Acknowledge it. Be tender with it. Begin to tell your younger self you are ok. You were afraid then because you had no power as a kid. You have power now. You’re a grown-ass adult. Forgive yourself.

      Start giving yourself permission to want what you want. Tell that older, scared part of you that you are ready to move forward with love and courage. Don’t push those fears down when they come up. Walk towards them.

  • Self-judgment. You, me, we are all crazy good at self-judgment. Of saying some mean ass things to ourselves. Imagine if we could be so good at lifting ourselves up? Right? More in my next newsletter on this one. Stay tuned.
  • Practice (aka finding joy in the journey). We all want to zip right over the work and land in the done-and-done. All sustained creation takes practice. It takes showing up. But there’s rewards for you along the way! More on this soon.

Thanks for being here as I move through my own fears, which are really just all of our fears. Sharing is caring.


* Little known fact: my husband sat on me to keep me from running away while he proposed. It worked, weirdly. Another tale for another time…

** Yeah, so, this whole introspection/reflection/manifestation thing is my job and calling — and I’m pretty damn good at it. I know that. But I’m still growing and evolving all the time. I stretch and old stuff comes up. Sometimes the mental/heart connections take a little more time. I’m perfectly imperfect. (Just like you).

*** Bunny, if you are crazy scared of moving forward in some aspect of your life, I’m here. You can book your free 30 minute with me. Trust me, I get it. And there are real ways to move forward without making yourself cray.