A teacher of my teacher once said something that I’ll never forget, “You either let the fear drive your car, or you just put in your purse, take it with you, and keep it moving.”
Fear is a real driver. For everyone. You’ve definitely made decisions based on fear. So have I. So has every person that has ever lived and died (a bold statement that I feel pretty confident about).
Hell, there are some terrifying things happening in our world now and always.* And while we can’t always change what is happening — at least not quickly — we can do our best to bring awareness to the way we make our life decisions.
Are there places in your life right now where you feel swamped with scarcity, confusion, or fear?
You full up with the feeling that there’s just not enough (time, money, opportunity, energy, etc) or you’re just not enough to do what you really want to do?**
- dig into problem-solving mode and start worst-case scenario~ing yourself into hopelessness and paralysis
- talk yourself out of your own needs and desires and tell yourself that a better time/opportunity will come along at some point when you’re “ready” or when someone else brings it along
- point at all the external factors as reasons why you just can’t move forward and play a little blame game
None of these are working for you, even if it feels less uncomfortable/safer when you do them.
That shitty little list above is a super abbreviated list of coping mechanisms that, if any of them resonated, have helped you through fear. The fix was temporary. The deeper issue is stickin’ around. And chances are those coping mechs aren’t working for you anymore and you’re coming to the end of their usefulness, sweetie.
So what if you just put the fear in your purse instead of letting it drive your car? What would that look like? Really think about it because it could change everything for you.
Your homework this weekend is to look at some of the big decisions you’ve been wanting to/trying to make and be reeeal honest with yourself about why you haven’t made them yet.
Then use your imagination (your built-in super-duper powerful visualizing and manifestation tool) to see/feel what acknowledging the fear without letting it rule you might look like.
Write it all down. Draw little pictures. If a Venn diagram or a collage is gonna help, DO YOU.
On a collective note, time is speeding up, so that means that change is too. Good news! I hope you’ll make your way out to one of the June 30th marches being organized across the country this weekend. There’s also a great article here with updated links to local grassroots organizations and more doing great on-the-ground work to end family separations.
Let’s not let fear make us small or cause us to retreat into our tiny corners. Let us take advantage of our growing capacity for love and compassion to make real change.
I’ll be live at 11am PT today over here on my instagram stories to talk about fear, change, and making your biggest decisions.
PS – A way to combat the corruption and dangers showing up in the world is to trust yourself, know yourself, love yourself. When those things are true, your capacity to show up and make change is infinite. One of my access points to self-trust/love/knowledge is to slow the eff down. You can access my free guided meditation and training here.
* Whether or not you experience these terrifying situations as touching you personally and directly, they are happening. And they do involve you.
** This isn’t a dismissal of systemic oppression or the realities of racism and patriarchy. Or even the realities of your busy life…rather, an attempt to get you to zoom out and take responsibility for how you look at your own life, which is within your power.