“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others.”
― Pema Chödrön
Why can self-compassion be so hard? BECAUSE YOU’RE SO GOOD AT BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF.*
Oh, I wish it weren’t true. But you have a ton of practice at it. So do most of us.
The #1 thing that comes up with nearly every single one of my 1-on-1 clients** is that they feel like it’s wildly difficult to create personal affirmations. Why? Because it feels weird and not-at-all-normal to say nice things to themselves.
Many of us learn that we must be generous to the point of over-giving to others (which leads to being “over” giving…get it?). Rarely are we so generous with ourselves.
Your Inner Child
Working with your Inner Child can be wildly healing. It’s a keystone of my work and a very tender way to build your self-compassion through connection, deep listening, and ultimately, reparenting yourself.
Your Inner Child can help you zoom into a time in your life when you unconsciously planted the seed for a life-long limiting and painful pattern. When you can go back and tend to that young one and forgive them for what was ultimately a bid to survive and make sense of the world, then you can create space for immense, quantum healing.
Oh, and forgiving yourself for holding onto those core limiting beliefs for so damn long can really help too. #understatement
Introducing Your Inner Elder
But I want you to meet another part of yourself who holds space for you. Who sits at the fire to share counsel with you.
I want to introduce you to your Inner Elder. They’re the one who can zoom out and hold the big picture. The one with vision, with the ability to see your whole journey and honor the path you’ve traveled.
They are the one who can offer so much unconditional love and compassion because they see you as you are…perfectly imperfect.
Yes, the Inner Child is a very well-known psychoanalytical term and while I’ve worked with Caroline Myss’s and Carl Jung’s archetype frameworks for years the idea of an Inner Elder isn’t explicitly named or explored.
I feel like it can be equated with calling on your Higher Self, or working with the very powerful Crone energy (of the Maiden/Mother/Crone aka the Triple Goddess) ⏤ the one who works with both divine masculine and feminine energies and holds the big picture for your long journey. I’ve introduced this one in my group course and it’s been so sweet to see how folks so naturally and compassionately engage with them(selves).
A Guided Meditation For Self-Compassion
In honor of this introduction, I made you a 15-min guided meditation for self-compassion and visionary connection with your Inner Elder.
It’s Libra season and I’m a Libra through and through. I’m here to honor your beauty, brilliance, and to help us bring justice/balance (the scales!) into our own lives and our collective reality through love and compassion.
Try being kind to yourself.
Soak up the beauty that is all around you.
Notice where there’s an imbalance in your life and instead of judging or coddling it, bring in gentleness and slow-down energy so you can come back home to you.
*I totally acknowledge that maybe you’ve done a good amount of inner work and your inner critic isn’t nearly as loud as it used to be…but it never goes away. There’s always more dancing with it.
** Want to chat about what some intimate and radically transformative coaching support could look and feel like? What could be possible if you invest your precious time, money, and energy in you (radical by itself)? Book a free 30-min discovery session consult with me. You ready?